Remember a while back all the discussions brought about by a book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? Well, the fact of the matter is that was an incredible understatement, the way men and women look at similar situations are like two parallel universes with similar languages, but completely different interpretations of those languages. Millions of years of evolution have caused men and women to see the same things differently, and with the occasional rare exception, act differently in their pursuit of life’s emotional necessities, including romance. So, lets take a little look at Romance and how it is viewed by each gender and what their ultimate goals are.
A man’s romantic fantasy basically has nothing to do with our common interpretation of romance; it is more of a fantasy based on passion or desire than romance. The common male fantasy is to sleep with many attractive women both singularly or at the same time. Whether this is do in part from “Darwinian” theories or just that most males given the opportunity, turn into the quintessential “horn dogs”. In either case, the male brain is geared more to the act of physical intimacy than the pursuit of emotional intimacy or romance.
Females on the other hand have a completely different perception of romance, and as such go about achieving it in different ways than men. Contrary to the male perception that they must surround themselves with many women, the female fantasy revolves around one man. This fantasy is not just about any man, but the one who can provide for her a safe and stable relationship and provide financial stability as well, the ideal provider if you will. This fantasy results in a commitment that takes the anxiety (for the most part) out of her life about how she will maintain her lifestyle and who she will live out her years with. If the female achieves her fantasy it in effect destroys the classic male fantasy, as he must now give up the romantic notions of being the next Casanova, Gene Simmons or even Charlie Sheen!
The male fantasy seems to heavily rely on the pursuit of the female as once attained men will quite often go in search of the next great catch. For women the best part of a relationship is the stability of that relationship itself while men look at the chase as the driving force. While on a quest men will spend ridiculous amounts of money trying to catch the woman of his fantasy, but shortly after he attains his goal, he will spend precious little in trying to maintain it. He will however break his bank account on concerts, sporting events and weekend trips to Vegas with his buddies.
No matter which way you look at romance or fantasies, it’s not easy trying to decipher the codes that make men look at romance one way while women tend to see it another way. Romance can quite often be like running a triathlon, it could be very difficult and there may be times that you will want to quit, but you know that each step you take makes you stronger and that you will feel great once you cross the finish line.
Friends with benefits
Have you ever been involved in some sort of relationship or romance and not quite known how to define it? The Sugardaddy is not merely hooking up for the evening with a stranger, yet not really more than friends who enjoy occasionally sleeping together. This is the kind of sex in which one of the couple will more than likely find some excuse not to spend the night and slips out the door, in the wee hours of the morning. These types of relationships are commonly called friends with benefits. As a Sugardaddy, I have on many occasions invited a woman, who was a good friend of mine, to travel with me on a business trip to a nice location. I may have had a semi girlfriend at the time or she, a boyfriend, and although there may have been a bit of jealousy by the significant other, it was rare that my girlfriend would volunteer to assist me with my networking or jobs unless the destination was overseas or international travel. The friends with benefits relationship is first and foremost as a friend, a woman, who happens to have some quality or sexuality about her that makes you want to enjoy more than a bit of social conversation and dinner.
Sometimes those who are mixed up in friends with benefits type relationship are thought of as ‘the player’, that kind of individual who does not want a stable relationship or girlfriend. The player is great with sharing advice with others on how to deal with the female population, and can burn up the social networking and message boards with overstated accounts of his conquests, but the true friends with benefits relationships are usually just that, sex between consenting good friends. If an individual is lucky enough to be in such a quasi-romance, while not currently in a monogamous relationship, remember that because you sleep with someone, the Sugardaddy is not necessarily in a dating relationship with them, but you do owe them your respect and honesty. Friends with benefits occasionally turn into something more so its important to build trust while sharing this adventure.
A Sugardaddy is not the player. He is more of an instructor, teaching undergraduates in the science of building a more affluent lifestyle. He is neither a video star nor an advice columnist. He is first and foremost a friend, and on occasion, friends with benefits!.
Sometimes it amazes me how many of my friends who envy my Sugar daddy lifestyle seem to think that I just go out to a bar at night and pick up a young and energetic attractive woman and ‘poof’, I am now involved in a Sugar daddy relationship. These are also the same people who told me to buy all the real estate I could get, just two short years ago! To them I politely say, “so how’s that working out for ya!” When searching for a Sugar babe, you are actually looking for someone to spend time with, as much as we may hope, the entire world does not take place in a bedroom, ok…a lot of time yes, but not all the time. So, for this reason, you may want to find someone who is not only aesthetically pleasing, intelligent, but has some similar interests.
I love the ocean; I love everything about it, from surfing to scuba diving. For me, it is vitally important that I find an attractive young lady who enjoys this as well, especially since so much of my time is spent in aquatic pursuits. Now here’s the news flash, there are great single women who enjoy the same things I do! So, why should I spend my time searching the night spots, when I can find someone during one of my adventures, who I can relate to better? Being a Sugar daddy is not about sex, its about experiencing new and exciting things. If I meet a pretty, athletic girl along the beach in South Florida, think about the fun both of us can have on the beach during a weekend in Cancun!
Although a Sugar daddy relationship quite often suggests a financial arrangement with younger attractive ladies for the purpose of showing them a more affluent lifestyle, there is always the possibility that more a traditional relationship would be welcome well. Because this is always a possibility, I try to associate with single women that share common interests and may just need a bit of push or assistance in moving ahead in life. Depending on your mood, you may prefer the woman that you have little in common with, she would however not be a Sugar babe, she is known as a one night stand.
A very good friend of mine used to constantly ask me how I would always return from a trip and walk off the plane with an attractive woman at my side. This was always a source of both amusement and frustration for him, as he got such a thrill to see who I would be walking with, (once it was even a relatively well known celebrity), yet it annoyed him as I never told him how I always seemed to find these young women. Well, today I reveal the secret. I’m one of those people that travel a lot and can’t stand to get caught in a crowd; as such I have several club memberships to various airlines frequent flyer clubs. It is within these hallowed halls that the pretty people hang out. In the Delta crown room, for instance, once past the gate keepers lies a world of fascination, where scantily clad women dance on the table tops and gourmet meals are served by the finest chefs, the top shelf drinks flow endlessly and all is perfect in the world. OK, now that I have your attention, its not anything like that, there are however plenty of comfortable chairs, private bathrooms and quite often nice snacks and overpriced but tasty beverages. All in all a very nice place to wait for a flight. Since I am never alone in these places, there is always someone to strike up a conversation with, and due to the location, most often that person too is used to a better than average lifestyle.
It is much easier to talk to an attractive woman in such a setting as it is quieter than the outside flight gate area, and you are usually pampered there as well. OK, here is the big key, if you happen to see a beautiful woman alone and begin a conversation with her, you can invite her into the lounge with you! This almost always has the desired effect of impressing the young lady and winning her over. Now comes the best part, the reservation specialists who check your credentials when entering the lounge would always be most happy to do some seat rearranging to allow you sit next to your new friend, and if you are seated in a first class cabin with empty seats, they may even offer a complimentary upgrade for the lady. This is the icing on the cake if you are attempting to make an impression for future possibilities. An important fact to remember is that if you are dressed like a construction worker, you are much less likely to receive any upgrades or attention! As I would depart the plane and head to my waiting friend to drive me home, I would always have already traded contact information with the lady, and with a kiss goodbye, I would leave my new acquaintance and head smiling to my bewildered buddy. Ahhhhhh, life is grand!
A bunch of friends and I were sitting at a little outdoor bistro by the bay having an enthusiastic discussion about politics as the presidential election was now upon us. The economy, national security and the energy crisis were all discussed with great passion. To lighten the moment, as well as to calm the men who had begun raising their voices to an irritating level, I posed a very poignant question, “how will the state of the union change the way in which a Sugar daddy operates?” I didn’t mean if we could afford to do things we normally would do, as even in a difficult economy a true Sugar daddy will have sufficient disposable income to live a lavish lifestyle. The point I was trying to make is how I can be different than all the other men yet still display that I have the means to enjoy life on my own terms.
That very night I invited a young lady that I had been seeing to come to my home for dinner, instead of dining out at one of the usual restaurants I regularly patronized. OK, Lesson for all you potential Sugardaddies out there, being consistent is very important as long as you occasionally shake it up once in a while to keep an air of mystery about yourself. So my plan was to challenge this woman to a series of events on my new wii game unit. The loser would then have to…well, you get the idea! You may laugh at this but its amazing how just being silly and laughing can bring two people closer together, and no crack about a 40+ year old man with a game console, it works for me!
Well, to make a long story short, the battle raged on for hours, and although she kicked my butt in wii bowling, I dominated in golf and slalom skiing! Just about the time we decided to take a break, the doorbell rang and dinner arrived. Did I ever mention that there are places you can order food from that will not only deliver your gourmet meals, but will include a wait staff to come and serve you as well? Remember, even the easy things that most people would take for granted can be turned into a memorable experience. Being a Sugar daddy is not only about wealth, it is about lifestyle. This includes thinking outside the box. Remember this, even something so simple as inviting a young lady to dinner can turn an “Average Joe” into a rock star if you merely put some thought into it!