I’m not sure as to whether or not this is a genetic trait that all women possess, or merely something that occurs in the single women that I tend to meet, but I have noticed that they all seem to want to mother me. Originally I had thought that because of my extreme adventure lifestyle, and the fact that I usually came home broken or battered in some fashion that it was just a nice gesture of concern. Nope, its more than that. It seems that even if I just get a splinter or a scratch, the woman I am with will roll out the bandages, put me in my recliner, hand me the remote control and repeatedly kiss my boo boo.
This mothering instinct is a fine thing, but it can sometimes get overdone. If I mention I am inured, even a woman who has never met me face to face feels the need to nurse me back to health, by sending me home remedies or calling a local deli and having chicken soup sent to my residence. I should take the time to mention that I live within a guard gated estate, so my security is assured. I am not the handsomest man in the world, so I am not concerned that they do this out of pure lust, nor am I the ugliest, as I have not recently been seen ringing bell in a church shouting “sanctuary” at the top of my lungs. It just seems that it is genetically coded for the female of the species to do this. I have learned, however that I can work this human condition to my advantage. My Sugar baby is coming over to night and, I’m trying my best to get a groin injury before she arrives.
I had decided to allow one of my more headstrong sugar babes to take me to dinner the other night, succumbing to her urging that it would be a refreshing change for us since she wanted to not only choose the restaurant but she actually wanted to PAY for the evening! After a quick mind flash in which I was envisioning us eating French toast at 10pm at the highway truck stop, I laughed and agreed to her request to surprise me. She’s a young, educated professional and I trusted her taste implicitly.
Arriving at her building at 6pm, I turned over the keys to my beloved Bentley while simultaneously commenting on her seductive outfit and greeting her with a kiss. I’d decided ahead of time that I would allow her to drive and to truly be in charge the rest of the evening. I’m comfortable enough in my masculinity to go along with the fun, although I have to admit that it would be outside my comfort zone to make a habit of this, as I tried not to allow her to see my whitening knuckles as we made the sharp turn onto the freeway. While my stomach was growling, I could think of nothing other than the need for a nice, dry martini upon arrival.
It wasn’t long before we pulled into what was inarguably one of my favorite restaurants in South Beach. While some people may be under the false impression that any woman interested in a sugar daddy would have to be some blonde bimbo with a subzero IQ, I would fight them to the grave; this woman is not only very intelligent, but clearly observant as well. Dusting off the cobwebs in the recesses of my mind, I realized that this was the very first restaurant I’d taken her to and that was well over a year ago! I couldn’t hold back my smile. Think what you want about sugar daddies and sugar babes, but yes, there is often a sense of romance when I am out with my babes. If you are under the impression that it’s all about her enjoying wine, fine food, gifts and vacations and me only in the relationship for the arm candy and sex, you are wrong. Obviously I am attracted to her (and a few other women I see occasionally) on many levels and the fact that she remembered the place we shared our first meal together and the fact that it’s my favorite, scored huge with me. So huge in fact, that I found myself almost able to completely forget that it was essentially with my money that my babe had ‘treated’ me to a great dinner on the beach!
“When you get to the fork in the road…take it,” This is a famous ‘Yogi-ism’ meaning that life throws you many curve balls and then get to a point at which you have to make a choice, you make that choice and deal with the consequences as they arrive. OK, this may not be exactly what the Hall of Fame catcher of the New York Yankees may have meant, but it felt good just using it in my blog. What can be inferred from this famous saying is that everyday we are faced with challenges, both professionally and emotionally whether you are attractive women or a wealthy man, or anything in between. There is no such thing as problems, only challenges that need to be overcome. The attractive women may have it very easy when it comes to social situations, yet may have severe panic or anxiety when it comes to business or finances. Wealthy men might be just the opposite, as business is second nature to them, however social skills may be severely lacking. It is for this reason that I feel these two types of individuals work so well together, as one can pick up where the other is deficient and have a damn good time in the process.
Even though attractive women and wealthy men do frequently travel in the same circles, they may very well have difficulty in approaching each other, as one may make the first move while the other may shy away. The internet has made bringing these two diverse individuals together very easy, as each can initiate or continue a conversation in the safety and security of their own living room. By the time each is ready and willing to meet the other, the proverbial ice has been broken and a comfort level reached. I am not saying that all attractive women or wealthy men have these difficulties, but for those that do, the Internet has become the great equalizer. These relationships work well because they are mutually beneficial, as each party receives something in return for their efforts. As a student of human nature its fun to see how various people react in a range of situations, and in the immortal words of Mr. Yogi Berra, “you can observe a lot by watching.”
So there I was, finishing an hour long body forging class at the local fitness center; its funny how when I was young and had no money it was called a gym, now that I’m older and it costs $125.00 a month to go and sweat profusely, its called a fitness center. I was making the rounds on my way to the locker room for a bit of a sauna and a shower when I noticed a strange short man struggling with one of the weight machines. This tiny person was either a member of the munchkins union or possibly even a midget transsexual, but nevertheless was in a bit of difficulty, with no one willing to lend a hand. I gallantly, if not cautiously positioned myself to assist if needed. After a mutual nod of acknowledgement I continued to the showers. It has always bothered me that some people will automatically regard another with disdain or pity for looking a bit different or having a physical abnormality, not realizing that the aesthetic appearance may be just a house for something much greater, as is the case with the brilliant British physicist Stephen Hawking. As a Sugar daddy, looks do play a big part in the women I date however given the choice of two attractive women, the less attractive if educated and possessing a delightful personality will win out every time. Unfortunately, online dating doesn’t lend itself easily to determining personality quickly.
As I was leaving the shower area, several other members seemed to part like the red sea as the little man was entering a shower stall. This was funny in two ways, as I was trying to decide if they were genuinely afraid of this man, or were intimidated in that this “lil fella’s’ nickname should have been “tripod”. Again, we exchanged passing pleasantries as I made my way to my locker to get dressed, and go home for an exciting evening of looking over some potential new revenue streams as most businesses have been hit to some extent due to the backsliding economic conditions. As I was standing outside admiring another gorgeous South Florida day, the diminutive hobbit passed by and stopped, started up at me and said “You obviously noticed my differences, yet you looked past the obvious, a rare quality indeed”, as he handed me his business card his limo pulled up and the largest man I have ever seen hopped out to open the door for him. As he pulled away I glanced down at his card to realize that he was the CEO of an incredibly large dot.com, which has since become my single largest client. In the immortal words of Forest Gump’s mother, “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get.” Isn’t life great!
Romance is not dead, only in a Coma
A day at the beach
Life Carries On
A Sugar daddy by any other name
I love going to the supermarket! There, I’ve said it, and before all you macho, construction working, blue collar guys begin laughing too hard, let me explain why. I began my nightly strolls through the super markets a few years ago when they were just starting to get popular. I would only buy food on a ‘as you need it” basis as I tend to travel frequently, and it would also give me a reason to get out of the house for an hour or so. What I found fascinated me. In the numerous aisles of cereals, coffee, canned goods and frozen foods was an oasis, a retreat for all the women who needed a break from their grueling days or humdrum existence. It was here that they could stroll unhampered by boyfriends, husbands and bosses, and only with the occasional “kid in tow”, could mingle with others under the guise of shopping.
Although the majority of these women were off-limits, there were also those that had just gotten off a hard day of work and were stopping by to purchase some provisions and were off to an evening of television and Internet dating sites. A man alone in such a store was like waving a Porterhouse steak in front of a starving man, the attacks came quickly and without subtlety. The key is to shop the Gourmet markets such as “Whole Foods” as this seems to attract a more affluent clientele. Another thing to remember is that it is best to always take a quick view at a woman’s ring finger; I prefer to steer clear of married women as even I have some morals. I think back to the classic line in the movie “my blue heaven” starring Steve Martin as the Mafioso in the witness protection program, as he uttered the unforgettable pick up line to the ditzy blonde (played by Carol Kane) as walked down the frozen food aisle; “you shouldn’t be in here…You could melt all this stuff!”
Have you ever been to a beach on a fine summer’s day in South Florida? The water is flat calm and so crystal clear that you can see the fish swimming along the shore. What you can also see is the body shapes and any major flaws on those doing a bit of sun worshipping on the warm tropical sand. Tan bodies with little or nothing covering them up will certainly give you a great idea of what you may be getting yourself into in a purely aesthetical way of thinking. Every little beauty mark, scar, area of cellulite and stretch mark is visible to naked eye. For many this is not a very big deal while for others it can be a make or break situation. The beach is therefore the greatest supporter of truth in advertising that one could hope for. I have seen far too often in my years in the tropics that the people you met down here from the north and thought were in shape turned out to be the same ones that resembled weebles and were wearing Speedo’s and thongs in plain view of all. They make sun glasses to protect from the sun; they should make glasses to protect us from seeing this stuff too!
So now as we approach the winter months and my thoughts are now turning from the sun and fun of Florida to the Snow and ski slopes of Telluride, Colorado where I spend a part of each winter chasing down the snow bunnies and doing a bit of networking for business. It is at winter resorts such as here that I find a cruel twist of fate; I cannot determine the shapeliness or fatal design flaws of the ladies while they are wearing enough layers of clothing to open a goodwill store! There was a time when I had a particularly strenuous final run down a black diamond slope, racing a tall blonde woman about 35 years old all the way down. She had a smile that was as bright as those you see on a crest commercial on television and was sporting the newest designer ski apparel from head to toe. After some small talk I arranged to rendezvous with her at 7pm for a bit of hot tub fun. I arrived a bit after seven and found her already enjoying the warm water with a light snow falling around us. I did not need to ease myself into the tub as with a 12 degree outside temperature it was every man for himself! Things were progressing nicely when she offered to go get us a few hot après ski drinks. As she got out of the hot tub and grabbed her towel I gazed upon something that unfortunately may be burned into my memory for a very long time. As this immense thong eating butt emerged from the water I witnessed enough cellulite and fat that if you smacked it you could ride the waves! If that weren’t enough she had the words “Dirty Girl” with a picture of a nasty Jessica Rabbit tattooed on her right cheek. I was probably half way to Aspen by the time she returned. The upscale ski resorts are nice, but the beaches of Florida are much more honest!
Today I woke up, brewed a cup of fine gourmet coffee and sat on my balcony in a valiant attempt to motivate myself to accomplish something useful today. After several minutes of deep thought and contemplation I realized that this was not to be and turned my thinking to other more pressing matters. Since I was not going to go to work today, which, in reality meant I was not going to go into my home office to trade the stock market or turn on CNBC or even go near a computer. Today I was gong to be a bum. Rarely having had the luxury of doing as little as possible for an entire day, the endless possibilities where running amuck in my head. Having recently hired a new personal assistant, I decided to go wake her up from the bedroom…GOTCHA! Although I did recently take on a personal assistant, she is not my Sugarbabe, I do draw the line between work and play, and I also refuse to date anyone that voted during the Eisenhower administration. But today, my business life was in her capable hands.
I thought perhaps I could take my bike out on the trail that runs alongside the beach to get some much needed exercise and then come home, take a shower and be ready for an hour or so of the great buffet lunch served at the local gentleman’s club. Of course you realize, its not about the naked girls, its all about the food. Since it was such a beautiful day, I vetoed the idea of a buffet lunch and decided that I would first go down to the beach and with a good book and catch up on a little reading, after all this is South Florida and the beach is almost as good as the finest strip joints. I positioned myself so I could see the blue waters of the Gulfstream while also have a birds eye view of any ladies coming my way. Yup, today was going to be the day to catch up on all those little things I have been meaning to do, but never had the time.
I woke about 5pm, just as the sun was beginning to edge to the western horizon and all the other beachgoers were on their way home. My SPF 45 did the trick and as I took a quick dip in the still warm ocean with no ill effects from several hours of sleeping in the tropical sun. So, I didn’t accomplish all those little things, I didn’t meet a new Sugarbabe and I ended up sleeping the day away on beautiful beach to the sound of the waves hitting the beach and birds fighting over a bit of fish. Isn’t life great.