Monthly Archives: May 2009

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.


We are so conditioned to expect certain things when we engage in the fine art of dating that we tend to forget what is truly important. The first thing people ask when you tell them that you are dating someone new is what do they do for living or what kind of car do they drive? Say the wrong answer to these questions and you will be met with a very suspect look. Instead shouldn’t those that care about us be more interested in what kind of person he or she is? Shouldn’t sense of humor and integrity triumph over bank accounts and material possessions? The answer to this in today’s society is a resounding no.

This is why in the world online dating and Internet personals I say “don’t hate the player, hate the game”, as basically you are playing a game and competing against the hordes of other singles and not-so-singles that inhabit the online dating world. Each and every time you venture onto an online dating site, you are first attracted by a picture, which is very normal as looks are the initial factor that will cause a person to look further and perhaps feel confident enough to make that all important contact.

But what happens, when after several conversations, a string of emails and online messaging you finally decide to meet for a face to face encounter at the local starbucks and that well-dressed person in the profile picture on that obscure online dating site pulls up in a beat up old car and is dressed like the customers of a nearby soup kitchen. It may still be the same person that enchanted you with his or her humor, and that great smile may still be there, but now the game has changed. You now have to decide, whether the personality of this person is enough to overcome the lack of wealth or substance.

The online dating game as well as dating in general has certain rules, and with only occasional exceptions, it is fairly certain that 4’s belong with 4’s, 7’s belong with 7’s and 10’s belong with….well…ME! But also remember this, that if you have someone that has a personality that you adore and compliments your own, there is always that chance that financial circumstances may change and you could be a part of that change, or you may choose to wait for that person with the Mercedes and the house in the Hamptons, to sweep you off your feet. That person may also be everything you have dreamed of, or just your ticket to a more affluent lifestyle. The rules to this game of courtship have been ingrained in our subconscious over generations, so this is why I say “don’t hate the player, hate the game.”


1 Comment

Filed under Dating