OK, Sugardaddies and Sugarbabes, here is my first annual Christmas post for this blog. We very often seem to forget the meaning of the Holidays, so whether you are celebrating Christmas or Hanukah or Festivus for that matter, it pretty much all comes down to one thing, “Be nice to each other.” For the most part, it truly does not matter whether or not you are a man or woman, whether you met on an online dating site or at the local “Mickey D’s” fast food restaurant, the bottom line is, this time of the year is to assist others, and help them achieve a better life for them and their families. If you think about this a bit closely it sounds a lot like what a Sugar daddy does year round!
So often, when I am dating a Sugar baby, she brings with her an assortment of personal issues that seem to be weighing her down. These can merely be the inability to pay the electric bill, or a loved one who may need some medical assistance. in the majority of cases I am more than happy to help out in any way I can, as everyone at some point in their lives can use that added help. As a Sugar daddy, I realize that there will always be those less fortunate than myself, just as there will be those who have achieved substantially more than me. We can all help out in some way, so whether it is by donating a little bit to a worthy charity or when you see that strange man dressed in a very colorful velvet suit on some street corner, waving his arms and ringing a bell, NO! I do not mean ‘Guido, the killer pimp” I am talking about Santa Claus collecting for charity; give what you can as we can all use a Secret Santa or Sugardaddy at some point in these trying times. With that said, this is your Sugar daddy, wishing a merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!
I love cars, especially the old muscle cars of the 1960’s and 70’s. The raw speed and horsepower of those vehicles made you feel like you were king of the road. One of my friends recently asked me what gas mileage I got on one of my beastly machines. I looked at him like I was about 5 seconds from taking his head off, and all at once he got the answer. First of all, if you need to worry about gas mileage, you should not own one of these cars unless you are going to sit and look at it with no intention of driving. This is very much like the attitude I take with some of the Sugar babes I date, If I am going to spend a lot of money on a rare and exotic item, unless it’s a Rembrandt, I am going to use it. Whether it’s a car or an attractive woman, I want to play with it, and I am willing to pay the price for that privilege. This in no way insinuates I prefer ladies of questionable repute, merely that I am fully aware that the best or prettiest are going to in some fashion, cost a bit more in the long run.
One may question this analogy of cars and women, but if you think about from the Sugar daddy point of view, they are very similar. A luxury or exotic car is going to cost a lot to get it into your garage, just like the most attractive of women. And just like the best of the best in terms of Sugar babes, the least expensive part is at the beginning. Cars, like Sugar babes, require incredible amounts of maintenance, whether it’s a new custom built super charger or a weekend at a spa and resort, the joy you will receive is going to cost you. So when I am driving my beauty down ocean drive on South Beach in Miami, and some tourist asks me how much it costs, I just laugh, and say, ‘if you have to ask, you can’t afford one” and then I say, “but the car was not nearly as expensive!”
Some times I just don’t get it. I date a woman who seems to be funny, intelligent, and pretty and all those things that we as men view as important in a relationship. We go on one or two dates and the next thing you know she is picking out china patterns and thinking of names for our children. Now this is not to say that you can’t develop the foundation for a relationship in a short period of time, but lately some of the women I meet, especially on the online dating sites seem to have a ‘just add water’ and voila!, instant relationship mentality. To be honest, this kind of freaks me out a bit. As a Sugar daddy, I am all about a mutually beneficial relationships and taking care of those I am fond of, but there are lots of women I am fond of, and unless I am deeply religious and living in a commune in Utah, I don’t plan on moving in and playing house with all of them.
Hugh Hefner has it about right; this figure head of Playboy for the past several decades is perfect at getting his women to understand the concept of the Sugar daddy. Lets look at his ‘Girls Next Door’ as they are more commonly known. He looks after them, gives them projects to work on supports them, but at no point does he tell them they will be together until death do us part! They understand that at some point they will more than likely be moving on and others will assume their…ummm…positions? So my point is that, he is always honest with his lovely ladies and they are in turn honest with him. I too am honest with all the women I date. I at no time say this is an exclusive relationship unless it has become one, and after only one or two dates, I can assure you it is not happening in the foreseeable future. A friend told me that it is normal for a woman who has been treated poorly in the past to grab hold of a wealthy man who treats her with kindness and dignity, when all she has known in the past is attitude and deceit. So why should I have to pay the price for another’s failures, if I brought home every puppy I fed on the street I would have to have a place like the Hef’s mansion to hold them all.
Women are a bit more enigmatic. While women look for certain attributes in their date, it seems their requirements change with their moods or circumstances. I have a friend who always said she would only date men at least two inches taller than her; well, lo and behold, she got talking to someone at a bar one night and they got along great. They talked for hours and hours. Upon leaving, when they both hopped off their bar stools, it was only then that she realized he was just a hair shorter than her. She had such a fabulous time getting to know this terrific new person that all of a sudden her longstanding ‘requirement’ was out the door.
They are now dating and she is happier than ever. So to say women have steady “types” of men they are attracted to and will date may be incorrect. When it comes right down to it, they want someone warm and compassionate; someone who will listen to them as well as give their own views and opinions and contribute to the discussion. They do not generally seek out introverted men; those that are smiling and gregarious are preferred. So no matter if you are a man or a woman, it seems the biggest things both sexes look for in a date boil down to personality and attitude.
I decided the other day over lunch with a newly-single friend, that making the transition from a committed relationship back to singledom is a very difficult thing, depending on how long you’ve been out of the singles scene, of course. In this particular case, my friend had been with his girlfriend for three years and really thought she was “the One”. Sad that it didn’t work out, but now I, as his buddy, am obligated through unspoken ‘man law’ to step in and help him regain some confidence and get him back in the game. I realized that telling him to “walk it off” was probably not a good response here, although it has served me well on the athletic field many times over. So I decided to smoothly segue into a routine question and try to pick his brain to gauge where he was at… “What do you suppose women look for in a date?” I asked him. He said he didn’t know anymore; he’d been out of things for so long he hadn’t a clue and said he was hoping I could tell him, being I’ve been a lifelong bachelor. So we started brainstorming.
We know that men look for someone that is attractive (that’s the first impression that catches our eyes first, sorry ladies..), personable, can carry on a somewhat intelligent conversation; she doesn’t have to know who won last year’s Heisman, but she should be somewhat educated and not only willing to talk, but to listen too. Nice eyes and legs don’t hurt. But when guys look a girl as being a potential date, they really think about whether this woman is just temporary eye candy, or if she is someone he would enjoy having a nice evening out with. Personality counts for a lot and some seem to really click while others totally miss the mark. But that’s okay; it’s said that there’s someone for everyone, so we don’t feel bad when we can be honest and admit that this girl is just not for us and move on.
Have you ever heard that old saying that “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?” Well, that has never been more true than in the realm of Sugar daddy dating. Just as with any type of relationship, it may take some time to conclude whether that person is the right one for you or not. Most of the time the odds are against you, otherwise over 50% of all marriages wouldn’t end in divorce. However, as a practicing Sugar daddy, we have to be constantly on guard, as being wrong can cost us dearly. But in general, there are certain subtle differences between getting to know someone online and then having a real life encounter. If you first meet in person, many of these issues are eliminated, such as when your date tells you via email that she is ‘curvy’ it may be better to have that first dinner at an all you can eat buffet. The Sugar daddy has to learn to read between the lines as well. I know that if a woman I meet online tells me that she loves to travel, it always means that I’m paying!
Having said all this, my favorite Sugar baby was a product of one of my online dating escapades. But here is the difference between what I see and what some poor slob sees when reviewing profiles and reading messages. First, if a woman comes out and says she is very honest, the poor slob is very happy while what I see is more than likely a pathological liar. If she says she is emotionally secure, this more than likely means she is taking at least several types of medication. Remember, all those you meet on the web are not liars or disciples of modern chemistry, in fact most are hardworking wonderful people, which is why we must be on guard for those who are not. Those who are not looking to take our money may be looking for something far more valuable, our souls! So while you are vigilant for the person telling you that you have won the Nigerian state lottery, also be on the watch for the woman who says she is romantic, this usually means she looks better by candle light!
OK, I guess its been quite a few posts since I’ve decided to rant and rave about a pet peeve, but as always some little thing today set me off and I feel its time to take a time out from talking about my adventures in online dating and how it is to be a Sugar daddy to enlighten the world about Paul O’Brien. You are now probably asking yourself who the heck is this O’Brien character and what has he got to do with Sugar daddy dating. Well, here it goes; have you ever had to call a help or support line to find out what is wrong with you wireless internet? I have given the name of Paul O’Brien to all those individuals who work in the overseas outsourced call centers of our favorite corporations. This is the name that the very first person who tried to convince me he was speaking from Chicago, Illinois used when attempting to assist me. I truly do appreciate the fact that he was reasonably knowledgeable and that the Company (who shall remain nameless) felt the need to outsource to appease it’s shareholder’s expectations, however do not tell me that you are someone or somewhere you are not.
I am used to sugar babes evading my direct question on many dating sites, because, quite honestly, that’s what they do, but I am prepared for that and let it go. However, when a man who identifies him self as Paul O’Brien from Chicago, who sounds very much like my friend Yogi Patel, proprietor of the finest 7-Eleven store on the beach, I have to stop and think. Again, remember, I have been in a mood as of late so I was looking for trouble! After several minutes of answering inane questions that had no bearing on my problem, which was preceded by 18 minutes of hold time, I began the hunt for the truth…As he was reading from what I believed was a script, (again, no problems here as long as the job gets done) I began to engage him in a meaningless dialogue, after several minutes of this and rebooting my computer, etc, I did it…I asked the question that would confirm or reject my assumption. “How is the weather in Bangalore I asked,” to which he replied, “I’m sorry sir, but in Delhi it is very, very nice”. After several more minutes and 2 managers lately, my issue was resolved and once again I was happily on the prowl for new and exciting Sugarbabes on some of my favorite sites. I know it really doesn’t make a difference where someone is helping me from, but for some reason it bothers me when someone is told to take on an alias and intentionally make be believe they are someone and somewhere the are not. I guess this is why the women I meet either have to be in person, or willing to have a cup of coffee with me in a relative short period of time. I may be picky but I hate to set up a nice vacation in the Florida Keys and have Paul O’Brien show up with a beach towel and Daiquiri!