I love going to the supermarket! There, I’ve said it, and before all you macho, construction working, blue collar guys begin laughing too hard, let me explain why. I began my nightly strolls through the super markets a few years ago when they were just starting to get popular. I would only buy food on a ‘as you need it” basis as I tend to travel frequently, and it would also give me a reason to get out of the house for an hour or so. What I found fascinated me. In the numerous aisles of cereals, coffee, canned goods and frozen foods was an oasis, a retreat for all the women who needed a break from their grueling days or humdrum existence. It was here that they could stroll unhampered by boyfriends, husbands and bosses, and only with the occasional “kid in tow”, could mingle with others under the guise of shopping.
Although the majority of these women were off-limits, there were also those that had just gotten off a hard day of work and were stopping by to purchase some provisions and were off to an evening of television and Internet dating sites. A man alone in such a store was like waving a Porterhouse steak in front of a starving man, the attacks came quickly and without subtlety. The key is to shop the Gourmet markets such as “Whole Foods” as this seems to attract a more affluent clientele. Another thing to remember is that it is best to always take a quick view at a woman’s ring finger; I prefer to steer clear of married women as even I have some morals. I think back to the classic line in the movie “my blue heaven” starring Steve Martin as the Mafioso in the witness protection program, as he uttered the unforgettable pick up line to the ditzy blonde (played by Carol Kane) as walked down the frozen food aisle; “you shouldn’t be in here…You could melt all this stuff!”